Budget
I've been thinking lately that I need to start budgeting.
So I wrote down what I bought today.
I'm aware that if anyone saw my list, they may think I am not very frugal with my money.
So I'll start the budget tomorrow instead.
So I wrote down what I bought today.
I'm aware that if anyone saw my list, they may think I am not very frugal with my money.
So I'll start the budget tomorrow instead.
One-Night Flop
I've decided that I want to have a one-night stand. It's been on my bucket list for a couple of years now. So I've taken note of three steps that seem crucial for the successful execution of a one-night stand: a good pickup line, sexy lingerie and a smooth exit the morning after.
I also know that in order to successfully execute a fling, I need sexy lingerie. I suppose my first choice would be my lacy (now rather frayed), white (perhaps now more so grey) undies. I bought them the last time I decided I was going to have a one-night stand, but when I realised that was not going to happen, they became my day-to-day underwear, hence their lacklustre. Then I've got my 'ants pants'. Aptly named this being the size six undies my mum bought me. Albeit a nice gesture, she is totally disillusioned with my size, and well they're just very tight and although I can't bring myself to look at them on in the mirror, I know it's not good back there. The third choice would be my Wonder Woman undies; these I am particularly fond of. However, it could be a risky manoeuvre - I don't know how the other party would receive them. Ideally, my suitor would think I really am the Wonder Woman. But the chances are slim and it could go the other way, in which case I may be laughed at. This I think would completely spoil the mood.
And anyway, even if I do work on my pickup line and buy some new undies, there is still the morning after to deal with. I've noticed when people discuss their one-night stands, they often mention a 'quick-getaway'. I don't know why exactly a quick-getaway is a necessary component of the one-night stand, though I'm pretty sure it's because one must tell all of one's friends, as soon as possible, the details of the previous night over a breakfast of pancakes, bacon and maple syrup. The problem is, the only person I know who has a car is my mum, and I think that would ruin my cool Wonder Woman image if she picked me up. Otherwise I guess I could dink on the back of my friend Alex's bike, although the last time we did that I fell off the back and scraped my nose. That wouldn't be a very gracious exit either.
Maybe I should just come to terms with the fact that I'm not a one-night stand kind of girl. Let's be honest here, the highlight for me would be eating pancakes the morning after.
*Sigh. It seems I need to take a long, hard look at myself. Or perhaps just buy some new undies.
Firstly, the pickup line. This could be a little tricky. When meeting new acquaintances people usually discuss topics of common or general interest, say films or politics. However, I often become flustered and start talking about my pen collection. Everybody has a pen right? But it seems stationary is not what you're suppose to talk about if you want anyone to come home with you, or even if you want the conversation to last longer than five minutes.
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| My pen collection |
I also know that in order to successfully execute a fling, I need sexy lingerie. I suppose my first choice would be my lacy (now rather frayed), white (perhaps now more so grey) undies. I bought them the last time I decided I was going to have a one-night stand, but when I realised that was not going to happen, they became my day-to-day underwear, hence their lacklustre. Then I've got my 'ants pants'. Aptly named this being the size six undies my mum bought me. Albeit a nice gesture, she is totally disillusioned with my size, and well they're just very tight and although I can't bring myself to look at them on in the mirror, I know it's not good back there. The third choice would be my Wonder Woman undies; these I am particularly fond of. However, it could be a risky manoeuvre - I don't know how the other party would receive them. Ideally, my suitor would think I really am the Wonder Woman. But the chances are slim and it could go the other way, in which case I may be laughed at. This I think would completely spoil the mood.
And anyway, even if I do work on my pickup line and buy some new undies, there is still the morning after to deal with. I've noticed when people discuss their one-night stands, they often mention a 'quick-getaway'. I don't know why exactly a quick-getaway is a necessary component of the one-night stand, though I'm pretty sure it's because one must tell all of one's friends, as soon as possible, the details of the previous night over a breakfast of pancakes, bacon and maple syrup. The problem is, the only person I know who has a car is my mum, and I think that would ruin my cool Wonder Woman image if she picked me up. Otherwise I guess I could dink on the back of my friend Alex's bike, although the last time we did that I fell off the back and scraped my nose. That wouldn't be a very gracious exit either.
Maybe I should just come to terms with the fact that I'm not a one-night stand kind of girl. Let's be honest here, the highlight for me would be eating pancakes the morning after.
*Sigh. It seems I need to take a long, hard look at myself. Or perhaps just buy some new undies.
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