Little White Lies

Maybe it was the way I was brought up, or maybe it's just in my genes and I never stood a chance. Either way, I often find myself slipping out little white lies.

When I meet new acquaintances at parties I tell them I study marine biology. The other day when a friend asked me how my day was, I told her it was pretty good, I went to the aquarium. But the truth is, I am not a marine biologist (although I do watch a lot of David Attenborough) and I did not visit the aquarium that day, but was instead probably around the corner from my house having a coffee.

The fibs don't exactly roll off my tongue either. This doesn't mean it's difficult for me to fib, it means the little white lies are often thought through. But this preconceived fibbing is not necessarily an indication of a complete lack of moral fibre on my part. For instance, my family is a common excuse for my poor social attendance, so sorry I didn't make it to dinner - I just heard my aunty has the shingles. However, as I'm worried I'll jinx someone, I've started using family members who either a) are dead b) don't exist or c) those whom I'm not particularly fond of. This way, it doesn't really matter if they actually do get the shingles or have an arm fall off but I'm so sorry I won't make it to your birthday.

I was talking about my rather complicated-yet-considerate-white-lie-process with some friends the other day. Unfortunately the situation got rather sticky as firstly one of my friends thought I had rather lax morals and couldn't understand why I just didn't tell the truth (I found this just plain annoying). Secondly, midway explaining to her why I wasn't completely amoral, I realised I may have (slightly) lied to her the week before. I think she realised this at the same time. Understandably, this made for an uncomfortable car ride home.

But don't think my fibbing is a symptom of my disillusionment with the stark reality of my life, nor an unhealthy obsession with marine life and David Attenborough. It's just a habit (call it compulsive if you must) like my bowl of weetbix in the morning. So the next time you call me up and I say that I'm at the zoo, I'm probably not, but don't take it personally.